literature

The Great Battle of the Kronstadting sea

Deviation Actions

soulessone12's avatar
By
Published:
843 Views

Literature Text

(PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A PARODY AND IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY I REPEAT THIS IS A PARODY THAT IS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY SO PLEASE ENJOY)


Time: 0609
Date: April 1, 2420
Location: Kronstadting sea

It was a calm day at sea, Dolphins were jumping around while the local population of Fin whales were in the middle of thier mating season while at the same time a great white shark with a god damn laser gun strap to his head for some reason ate its fifth human victim cause reasons.

All was perfectly fine, that was until Two fleets enter the area, one fleet being compose of a Iowa-Class Battleship (ASWS RV), a Kirov-class heavy missile cruiser (ASWS SCH), Four Bismarck-class Battleships (ASWS CONQ, ASWS SPUNZ ASWS GERMANIA,ASWS ROMMEL), five Ticonderoga-class cruiser mark 41 (ASWS DELTA, ASWS CODY, ASWS MEP, ASWS SWORDSGIRL, ASWS CHIM), two Nimitz-Class Aircraft Carriers ( ASWS DA, ASWS SHIRU) and a Virginia-Class Submarine (ASWS SOUL)

The other fleet was compose of one Sovetsky Soyuz-class battleship (CSWS PARTY (which was having a rather massive party as well)), two South Dakota-Class Battleships (CSWS SCYTH, CSWS LITTLE ACCOUNT), three Vanguard-class Battleship (CSWS MC, CSWS JE, CSWS BOOT ), seven Kashin-class destroyer (CSWS NAUGHT, CSWS SOOTY, CSWS GLUE, CSWS PINBALL, CSWS SAY, CSWS STICKS, CSWS MAS).

As the fleets began to approach each other the Ticonderoga's fired off a barrage of RGM-84 Harpoon Missiles while the Kasins at the same time fired a bunch of heavily modified Isayev S-125 (SA-3 Goa) missiles ending the party going on at the CSWS PARTY, but most of the missiles got shot down by most of the ships anti-missal systems  before they arrive but the ASWS CONQ took a hit but shrugged it off without much damage. then the CSWS PARTY fired a salvo of six sixteen inch shells and eight six inch shells at the ASWS RV but the CSWS NAUGHT in a moment of sheer stupidity fired a barrage of dummy missiles that were shpaed as dicks at the ASWS RV but it bounced of the ships belt armor without doing any damage. for a minute not one sound was heard except for the captain of the CSWS LITTLE ACCOUNTS laughter.

Then the ASWS RV Fired its 16-inch/50 cal. Mark 7 guns at the CSWS NAUGHT devastating it as a random Megaladon jumped over it for some reason and the fight resume,the ASWS DA and ASWS SHIRU launch its fighters while the ASWS SCH fought the CSWS JE, CSWS GLUE and CSWS SOOTY in a 3v1 while the ASWS DELTA rammed the CSWS MAS and the two ships engage in mortal kombat as the DELTA'S Mark 45 5 in / 54 cal lightweight gun score critical blows at the MAS'S control tower sending people and hamsters flying but the MAS'S 76 mm AK-726 gun manage to hit the DELTA'S Helicopter bay.

At the same time the ASWS SOUL fired a Mk-48 torpedo at the CSWS SCYTH but it missed and killed the Megaladon instead. The ASWS CONQ and ASWS ROMMEL fired a broadside of there eight 38 cm SK C/34 guns at the CSWS PARTY and CSWS LITTLE ACCOUNT which found there marks. At the same time the CSWS STICKS managed to escape getting bombed by some of the fighters and scores a missile hit on the ASWS SCH. the ASWS SOUL fired another MK-48 Torpedo and scored a hit on the CSWS BOOT and mange to score a hit. Meanwhile the ASWS DELTA and CSWS MAS were continuing their mortal kombat but suddenly the ASWS SCH fires two P-700 Granit Anti-Ship Missiles scoring critical hits and giving the DELTA the time to land another RGM-84 Harpoon missile strike this time critically damaging the MAS and sending it to Davy Jones locker. 

However suddenly the ASWS CONQ is invaded by a bunch of red monkeys armed with machine guns, grenades, and a french horn that came from absolute nowhere and they manage to sink it but not before the ASWS RV lauch a bunch of meat at them which cause a bunch of Great White Sharks armed with Laser Guns to eat the monkeys. Meanwhile the ASWS SWORDGIRL launches another missile barrage at the CSWS SOOTY and CSWS PARTY but while all this was going a thunderstorm began to form and it began to rain men. Thunder was heard everywhere as the two fleets tried to maul each other to death. the ASWS CHIM fought the CSWS SCYTH despite the fact the CSWS SCYTH had better guns and armor than the CHIM.

The ASWS DA and ASWS SHIRU recovered their fighters only to be hit by a missile salvo from CSWS NAUGHT and CSWS PINBALL which damages the two Aircraft Carriers pretty badly. but the storm became more intense waking up Cthulhu who form a Sharknado that began launching Great White Sharks arm with laser guns everywhere causing havoc sinking the ASWS SWORDSGIRL, only the ASWS SOUL was sparred because it was underwater. the ASWS GERMANIA and ASWS SPUN began focusing there fire on the CSWS PARTY while the NAUGHT,SOOTY, GLUE, PINBALL, SAY, STICKS, MC, JE, and BOOT launch a massive broadside at the ASWS RV and ASWS SCH severely damaging the two ships. but the ASWS DELTA,CODY, MEP, SPUNZ, GERMANIA, ROMMEL, and CHIM launch a counter barrage of fifteen inch and five inch shells along with the remaining RGM-84 Harpoon missiles sinking the CSWS STICKS and CSWS BOOT.

While all this was happening a flying yellow unicorn wearing glasses and covered in rainbows enter the sharknado and destroyed it cause reasons then he went to fight Cthulhu. 

The ASWS RV then fired a gigantic broadside at the CSWS PARTY bringing the full might of its nine 16-inch/50 cal. Mark 7 guns and half of its Twenty 5-inch/38 cal. Mark 12 guns to bear while the CSWS PARTY retaliated with a gigantic broadside of its own bringing the full might of its Nine 406 mm B-37 guns, twelve 152 mm B-38 guns and 100 mm B-34 DP guns to bear as the two ships began to massacre each other (As well as killing a bunch of innocent bunny wabbits). While this was going on the remaining Kashin-class destroyers, all of the Nimitz-class Aircraft Carriers and the remaining Ticonderoga-class cruiser mark 41 have token a lot of damage and all the captains decided to head back to port to get drunk and to 420 blaze it.

thus it all boil down to a Iowa-Class Battleship, a Kirov-class heavy missile cruiser, Four Bismarck-class Battleships and a Virginia-class submarine to slug it out against a Sovetsky Soyuz-class battleship, two South Dakota-Class Battleships, and two Vanguard-class Battleship. as the two fleets began to mix with each other firing all they got while a Fin whale's were jumping everywhere and getting kidnapped by aliens. The ASWS SOUL than fired all of its remaining torpedoes scoring a lot of hits on the CSWS MC, SCYTH, and CSWS LITTLE ACCOUNT then it began its long trip back to port but not before the CSWS LITTLE ACCOUNT manage to get a lucky shot hitting one of its steering fins.  

then as the sun set the final barrage began, as the battleships fired shell after shell after shell and the ASWS SCH firing missile after missile the captains would not give up, not until one side was dead. the amount of explosions gave Michael Bay a boner while up in the sky a great power decided that enough was enough. as the sun rose only the ASWS RV and CSWS PARTY remain. with both ships inches away from sinking and only with one of there guns still working both captains screaming defiantly at each other were about to fire there last working gun until the sky open and a giant doge wearing a SS uniform cause reasons descended from heaven and looking at both ships prepare to fire its laser eyes and there was a sound of thunder.
Based on some internet drama witnes except now its greatly exaggerated witness the final battle as :icon345rv5: :iconcomradesch: :iconthe-conquerors: :iconspunnyz: :iconfritzofgermania: :icondak-rommel: :icondeltahd: :iconcodyrush: :iconlordmep: :iconvikingponeswordsgirl: :iconchiminix: :icondaforrealjustice: :iconfuckshiru: and :iconsoulessone12: slug it out against :iconparty9999999: :iconscythemantis: :iconmy-little-account: :iconmas2500: :iconmaster-of-the-boot: :iconmclj10: :iconjejejeje823: :iconsootyjared: :icongluehead: :iconfuckernaught: :iconsayis5: :iconpinballwitch: and :iconstix2000: in the greatest 14 vs 13 (well technically 11 vs 13 cause I hate submarines and carriers) naval battle ever!

watch as the two fleets slug it out and wonder where the hell did the Megladon came from and why are there sharks with laser guns

also tried to guess which ship the users are commanding and watch as no one reads the big bold letters and thinks I'm being serious...

guest starring: :iconthenewdoge: and :iconblamethe1st: as well as Cthulhu
© 2015 - 2024 soulessone12
Comments33
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In